Recording memories

 My cute friend Ellie asked me to be a guest blogger today on Creative Geekery!
Check out it!

My mom is the greatest mom in the world. My selective memory of her skews happy. Some of my fondest memories include:

·      As a child: Reading Madeline books together (“…and to the tiger in the zoo, Madeline just said, ‘POO POO!’”)

·      As a tween: Battling during indoor water fights (I could not match her energetic expertise handling a double-barrel Super Soaker 2000!)

·      As a teenager: Giggling together while telling her about my first kiss (mincemeat breath!)

My dear mother fought, but eventually lost, many health battles, passing away in January 1999. Fourteen years later, my memories are blissfully limited. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about how amazing she was.

Am I missing memories of my mom? How did she really feel? Did she ever get frustrated? Did she even enjoy being my mom? Did she feel the same way I do during the ups and downs of parenting? I will never know; my memories are her remains.

In contrast, my Mother in Law kept a journal of her experiences as a mother. When one of her eight kids had a birthday, she pulled out her journal and read little snippets about the birthday child. I loved hearing the stories of my husband dropping batteries down the toilet and his other antics. I loved to hear that she had good days and some really crappy ones. It helped me realize that I was normal.

I want my kids to know I love them. I want them to know specifically what I love about them, how naughty they were/are, how they melt my heart, and how they sometimes break it. I want them to know me. I want them to know I adore being their mom. Recording feelings and experiences helps me express my love to my children.

There are numerous ways to record memories: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, email, letters, photo books, blogs, journals, calendars, voice memos, etc.  I learned that keeping track of memories is a lot of fun.  To my pleasant surprise, my kids like to get involved as well.  Here are a few ways we do it in the Rich family:

·      Letters to kids:  I started a letter to each of my kids when I found out I was pregnant.  I told how I felt, possible names, about showers and current events.  When they were born I wrote about their birth stories.  As they grow I write about milestones, funny things they say, naughty things they do, activities they are involved in, who their friends are, struggles we have, triumphs they experience.  I keep it positive, but real. My kids love when I read their letters to them.  The letters are currently a Word document, that I email to myself each time I update them (as a backup).  I keep a list on my phone of the things that I want to write about, and update the letters a couple times a year. I plan on turning the letters into a book with photos and giving it to my kids when they turn 18.  I hope it helps them as they grow and becomes a tool when they have their own kids. 

·      Timeline: My husband created a time line of places he has lived, big events in his life, education, and work experiences. It helps us plan for the future and motivates us in the present.  He made one for our daughter and uses it to help her set goals for her future. 

·      Kid’s choice photo books: Every few months, Shutterfly sends a coupon for a free photobook. My 3 kids take turns making their own books. It is fun to see how they put them together and which memories are important to them. 

·      Themed photo books: When my turn rolls around for a free book, I pick a theme and create a book. One book revolves around messy pictures of my kids (dirt, boogers, spaghetti). Another book contains pictures that make me smile for those crappy days I have as a mom. (When the finished “crappy days” book arrived in the mail, I was mortified to discover that I misspelled the word “the” on the cover!!!  How goofy that I spelled “the” as “teh!” I couldn’t help but laugh at my embarrassing typo. It is now a cherished memory.) I plan on doing a Christmas book, a Halloween book, and different books containing photos of my kids’ art works.  

·      Memory jar: I have a pint jar on my desk that we write memories on strips of paper.  On New Years Eve we dump the jar out and read our favorite memories of the year. I type the list up and put it on my blog.

·      Mom book: It is simply a blank notebook.  When my kids or husband ask me what I want for Christmas, my birthday, Mothers Day I ask them to write me a note or draw a picture in my Mom book.  We only started this book last year, but I am hoping it turns into a family treasure.  It will be fun to watch the messages morph as my children grow (assuming they still like me, if they don’t I will have that documentation as well).

·      Blog book: Every couple years I create a blog book through Blurb. Blurb places all my blog posts into a program that I can edit and bind in a beautiful hard-bound book.   It is fun to see my blog on the computer but in book form it turns into a cherished treasure.

·      Ping-pong journal: I bought my big kids a small journal that  travels back and forth between our pillows.  I ask them a question, they answer. They return it by asking me a question then placing it on my pillow.  I love to see their handwriting and writing skills evolve.  I enjoy reading their answers and love the questions they ask me.

·      Gratitude journal: We have a notebook that I randomly pull out and ask my family members what they are thankful for. We love to look back on previous entries.  Some of our favorites: I am thankful for….NOTHING, toilet paper, that I am not an orphan, etc.

·      Birthday Interview:  I have a list of questions that we all fill out on our birthdays.  I copy and paste the interview into my letters to my kids. 

·      Personal Journal: I also write in my personal journal from time to time.  This is a place where I can vent and I don’t have to worry about my audience.  I tell it like it really is. 

·      Alphabet Book: I created a photo album of all our family members in alphabetical order.  Aa is for Aunt Amy, Jj is for Joseph, etc.  We live away from our extended family so this is a great way to help my kids remember who everyone is.

These are just a few easy fun methods of recording memories. Many of the methods are part of my everyday life. Recording memories helps me through the many ups and downs of parenting. The process of recording (and later reviewing) the memories has strengthened my relationships with my kids. Next time one of my kids inexplicably squeezes toothpaste all over the floor, I plan to take a picture of the insanity, clean up the mess together, and then make it a laughable memory by posting a pic on Instagram.